- me: hi may i get a caramel frappuccino
- starbucks: sure. may i get your name please
- me: esteban julio ricardo montoya de la rosa ramirez
I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.
reblog if you love god. its cool if u keep scrolling, but thats what god will do when hes choosin whether to reblog u. into heaven.
- Future Child: Dad, I think I'm in love.
- Me: Well like us old tumblr users used to say, "bitch I might be".
- Future Child: Dad how is that even relevant
- Me: Do he got the booty my child.
- Future Child: ...what
- Me: Child. Do he got da booty.
- Future Child: *sighs heavily* He doooooo.
- Me: Then I ship it, my child.